:)

So it's been a few days...it's been going okay.  I have been very busy schedule-wise in the last few days, so that's really why I haven't posted.  I have mourned the lack of downtime and my house has paid the price.  It's a disaster!!  (I'll be cleaning just as soon as I get up off this couch)

So I have a few confessions to make (I said in the beginning I was going to be honest).  I cheated.  Here's a list of the cheats I have had and how I feel about each.

1- a cookie. When I was at work Wednesday night I was stressed and so I ate.  I don't feel great about it, but it's not the end of the world.

2- a coke.  I don't feel any guilt at all...I did this to kill the caffeine headache.  I found the taste pretty awful though, and that's a good thing.  No pending addicitons here...

3- french fries from Burger King.  Let me be real here...WTF was I thinking?  I stopped to get Andrew lunch because I promised him chicken fingers.  I figured BK would be a good bet because I think the place sucks.  And so I cheated by eating crappy fries....go me.  I really just wanted salt, should have just eaten a packet by itself.  lol.....

4- diet Dr. Pepper.  I got about 3 swigs into the 20oz and then drained the rest into the sink.  I felt too guilty and I really don't want the diet sugar cancer-causing shit in my body anymore.

So that about sums it up...otherwise I have been a very good girl.  In between my culinary meltdowns I have become quite inventive with my food.  I am trying new veggies (parsnips and yellow beets...which BTW, when oven roasted with some EVOO and S&P, are great!), and rediscovering things that I don't buy often but need to (like sprouts...yum!).  I had a meat craving experience last night and I became creative once again.  My hubby was cooking kielbasa for him and the kids and the smell was driving my CRAZY.  I freaking love that stuff.  Anyway, he also had some red potatoes oven roasting and some frozen peas cooking.  So I got out my "flipping genius" hat and did this: a wrap spread with vegetarian refried beans (that I seasoned with garlic, paprika, chile powder, cumin, and some green chiles), topped it with pieces of the black bean burger from the other night (I froze leftovers), and added fresh spinach, sprouts, carrots and some of the roasted potatoes.  It sounds super weird, so maybe I AM really strange...but it was freaking fantastic.  I got that meaty-full feeling in my tummy and it was all good in the hood.  

I'm going to work on some recipes involving lentils, and some type of curry dish.  I also want to do something asian-ish like a peanut satay thing.  

I have put my transgressions behind me and feel like I am focused on being good again....  Meanwhile, let me post some links below sharing blogs from some of my friends.  They are very smart ladies and have great info for ya!  

www.biggirletiquette.blogspot.com

My friend Brenda has a brand new blog that is perfect for her: it marries her impeccable fashion taste with common sense directives for anyone who is full-figured.  Even if you don't fall into this category, be sure and check it out.  She has great advice that can be used across the board.

www.autumnbreezy.blogspot.com

My friend Jessie is doing this 30 day cleanse with me!  We began on the same day too!  Also on her site is a link to her other blog, which speaks to my heart.  Confessions of a cookbook junkie.  Yeah...I'm addicted and you should see my collection!  haha!!

Have a great Friday and have a fabulous weekend!  (Please pray for me on Sunday, as I am hosting a baby shower for my friend and co-worker Beneka.  It's at Fuddruckers, which I am not really tempted by...but I am gonna want some of that cake...and need to be a good girl. I am a sucker for Publix cakes.)

C is for Cookie

Hi! So I have just wrapped up my second successful day of food-eatin'.  I am getting a wee bit crabby because I want my diet Dr. Pepper dammit!  LOL!  Honestly, it's cool...I just need to work past these cravings and the caffeine headache.  And then there's cookies.  In the words of cookie monster:  "c is for cookie, that's good enough for me".  "Me want cookies!!"  Yeah, that about sums it up.

I'm not going to upload my entire food log for today, but I will share with you my reward.  I went to Zoe's kitchen for lunch, and picked up my favorite side dish.  Braised white beans.  THIS. STUFF. ROCKS. If you don't live in Greenville, you need to pull up this web site and find one near you.  Gotta get some Zoe's!!

As a side note, I am inspired by the book that is under my food.  It's called "Crazy Sexy Diet", by Kris Carr.  How to summarize....let's see...  It's basically a book about being vegan, or if you aren't vegan...being responsible about your lifestyle and your meat purchases (sustainability, hormone free, etc).  This chick has style...I like the way she writes and I like the fact that she says "shit" and "damn" and doesn't apologize for it.  I haven't read the whole thing yet, but so far so good.   :)

Anyhoo...enjoy your day folks, and please give me some good vibes and well wishes that I can hang tough and not hit up the Spinx gas station for a diet Dr. Pepper anytime soon.

not so bad....

Here's a photo journal of my food yesterday.....

This was breakfast.  So yummy I had it again today.

Lunch smoothie...kale, spinach, blueberries, strawberries and watermelon. (I also had a salad for lunch).

It looks like poop.  But it was yummy!

Home-made black bean burgers.  Found "safe" hamburger buns too!  I put some hummus on the bun, and then sprouts and spinach.  It was good...and my husband ate it too!!!!

I finished day 1 with 100% success. I am pleased with myself.  I was tempted by candy, fruit snacks, pb&j, diet Dr. Pepper (about 12 times...), and M&M's (which I actually don't like...weird to want those).  But I didn't have any of it!!!   Looking forward to what today may bring......

Here we go.........

Well here goes nothing! I have a mixture of emotions as I begin my 30 day cleanse/experiment.  I am mostly nervous, but excited too.  Still not sure if I can do it or not, which is the cause of my nerves.  I am also already mourning the loss of my comfort food...which is really ridiculous...lol.  I am just going to take a second and say again my reasons for doing this and what I hope to achieve.  This is mostly for my benefit, but any of you who are wondering if I've lost my marbles will get your explanation here.

Why?
-I need to cleanse myself of all the crap I eat...thus the reason for me making such a drastic change.  30 days should be a good time frame for me to get through my cravings...
-I really want to learn a healthier and more responsible way to live my life...and have that benefit pass along to my husband and children.
-I need to prove to myself that I can stick with this all 30 days.  This may not seem like much of a challenge to some people, but when your "thing" is food (when I say "thing" I refer loosely to addiction) this is a BIG DEAL.
-I do want to lose some weight, but I really don't want THAT to be my focus.  If I feed my body well, I think I'll lose some weight.  Long term, if I am healthy my body will have no choice to follow suit.  This is also different for me...those of you who know me and my medical history know how important the "numbers" have been.  Screw the numbers.  haha!

So part of me also things that blogging about this is kinda silly too...but then I realize that I want and really need the feedback and support of my friends.  Mostly, I hope this helps to keep me honest.

I do have some exciting news!! My friend Jessie is doing this with me.  As soon as she gives me links to her blogs...I will post them so you can follow her, too.  She will have some great recipes posted too, for anyone looking to join us for a meal or two!

So it's now 11:58 on Sunday evening...  T-minus 2 minutes...and it begins...

Intro

Well hello. I am about to start my vegan experiment. You are probably wondering what I am doing, and why.  So here's a brief-ish run down of the deets.


What the heck am I doing?

• I am becoming a vegan for 30 days

Have I lost my mind?

•  Probably.

Why?

• I want to be healthy. I realize that being healthy doesn't have to mean being vegan...and yes I do realize that vegans aren't necessarily healthy...blah, blah, blah, yada, yada yada.  I have finally gotten it through my thick skull that I am unable to follow any diet plan, no matter how brilliant...and no matter which overpaid celebrity doctor made it up.  In order to finally become healthy I must blaze my own trail.  I LOVE FOOD, I mean I L.O.V.E. food, and I finally need to learn about it - and do it my way.  So my journey will start with me stripping out all the bullshit foods and drinks (let's have a moment of silence while I mourn the loss of Diet Dr. Pepper), and getting down to the basics of nutrition. 

What can you expect from reading this?

• I don't know.  Seriously...I don't.  haha!  Honestly, my plan is to help myself by documenting my journey and to get some feedback along the way.  Those of you who know me, will understand that this blog will not be all puppies and sunshine.  There will be swearing...lots of it, moments of negativity and also happy posts, too.  You will get 30 days of honest Jen, no bullshit and no candy coating.  (pun intended)  Possibly some sarcasm too, although I'm not really sarcastic (note  the sarcasm).  

What is my plan?

• So far it's this: be a vegan for 30 days.  I will try to rely on mostly a raw diet, and I plan to do this with very little influence of soy.  After the 30 days, I plan to add in more food groups, not sure yet which ones.  I don't expect to remain vegan or even vegetarian for life.  I will eventually pick and choose which meats to add back in to my diet, and consider how to include dairy in there somewhere.  I am not going to become a non-deodorant wearing hippie with dreds and tie dye (wait...dibs on the tie dye!) who shouts peace and flowers to the universe.  I just want to be a better version of me.  

What is my goal?

• I want to understand what goes into my body and what it does TO my body.  I want to learn to respect food for what it is: a source of nutrition....the stuff keeping me alive.  I want to become un-obsessed with food, and re-obsessed with what good food can do FOR me.  I'm sure some of you at this point might suggest me reading a book or twelve, instead of doing it this way...but I have always learned and understood things better by doing.
• I want to also learn to trust myself.  Can I do this?  I really don't think I can... I'm hoping that by making this journey public,  I can put more faith in myself and this process.  
• I also need to break habits.  I have some really crappy food habits and I will never be healthy until I get rid of them.  30 days of drastic plant-eating should be a pretty good start.  
• Most importantly...I want to help my husband and kids.  I want the 4 of us to be set for life on being healthy, and living long lives happy as clams.  

What can you do for me?

• Give me honest feedback.  If my post sucks, tell me.  Please don't go all "grammar police" on me...but otherwise I really want to know what you think!
• Help!  Let's share some healthy recipes.  If you know a way to make some cool spiced nuts, or have a magic recipe to make brussels sprouts taste like something other than an armpit...share it!